i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
