Dual....:-)
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
