It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
