We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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