Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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