Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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