I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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