I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You made out with two different species that night
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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