We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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