therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you had me at cake vodka
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
