he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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