My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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