Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
