i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
