i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
