around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
