I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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