Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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