look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
