You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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