He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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