im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think people are normalizing furries
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
