I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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