yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
that is very illegal...i love you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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