This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
