I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
