Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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