Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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