I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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