Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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