I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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