hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
