As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
