Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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