Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
