things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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