was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
