I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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