Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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