there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
