I got chris browned last night
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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