There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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