and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
