I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
