I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
