Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
