How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
