oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
whose ass print is on the piano?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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