she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
