Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
