covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
