then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
