I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
