does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
