Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Randomize
