When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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