stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
