i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
