Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
